Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Consensual Consequences: A True Story of Life with a “Registered Sex Offender”

For purchase, visit Ms. Gilmore's page at http://lynngilmore.blogspot.com/




,,,, or purchase on Amazon







Lynn Gilmore
Robert D. Reed Publishers (2011)
ISBN 9781934759509
Reviewed by Marissa Libbit for Reader Views (4/11)

“Consensual Consequences” by Lynn Gilmore is the true story of a woman’s journey married to a registered sex offender.  After ending her first marriage, the author moves closer to family in Arkansas to start a new life.  Soon after arriving, she meets Allen, a never before married man, who, though flawed, gives her the positive attention she’s been seeking.  He confesses that he is an alcoholic yet he is never abusive to her or her two daughters.  The most shocking confession Allen makes, though, is that many years before he had had consensual relations with a girl under the age of sixteen at a party.  Though confessing to not realizing her age, he is charged with third-degree carnal abuse and required to register as a sex offender.  Gilmore marries Allen anyway and in the years she has been with him, never had any fear that this one time act in poor judgment would ever be repeated, and according to her, it has not.  However, the fact that Allen must be a registered sex offender, makes their lives (including the life of their young daughter together) quite challenging as they are faced with having to confess their secret publicly and never allow Allen on school grounds without another adult. 

“Consensual Consequences” is an interesting read.  While the first part mostly highlights the love affair between Gilmore and Allen, the last part of the book comes on strong, in a good way.  I will admit that I was skeptical about “feeling sorry” for a registered sex offender and quite honestly couldn’t care less if they were all lumped together.  However, after reading this book I have changed my mind, and I assume that was the intent of the author, to educate people about the wide array of offenses that cause people to be placed on the registered sex offender list including underage teenage consensual sex, public urination, etc.  Her point is well made that placing everyone on one list doesn’t help us parents to distinguish who is most a threat to our children (by seriousness of the crime).  That point alone didn’t convince me to want to change the laws, but the point that law enforcement is then forced to spread themselves thin keeping tabs on all of the registered offenders, no matter the offense, instead of better tracking the rapists or child molesters, for example, makes perfect sense to me.  I’d much rather the energies be focused on those dangerous to society rather than a teenage boy who had sex with his seventeen-year-old girlfriend and got caught by an angry parent.  I don’t have the answers, but Ms. Gilmore’s mission seems logical.  “Consensual Consequences” will really make the reader think.

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"When an American says that he loves his country, he means not only that he loves the New England hills, the prairies glistening in the sun, the wide and rising plains, the great mountains, and the sea. He means that he loves an inner air, an inner light in which freedom lives and in which a man can draw the breath of self-respect."
~Adlia Stevenson U.S. Vice President (1893–1897) and Congressman (1879–1881)

On a Personal Note

Thanks for the opportunity to express my thoughts regarding the issue of citizens’ rights, particularly addressing certain sex offenders’ crimes that do not fit the devastating, inequitable and endless punishment given.


As you know, many young men and women lives across the nation are being destroyed by incarceration, life-time registry and restrictive laws that do more harm than good. For those individuals, there is no second chance.

Below is a personal letter to President Obama:
* * * *
“Dear President Obama,

I truly agree with your sentiments that individuals, such as ex-felons, should be able to receive a second chance at life. Since we all know that one can veer off that path of life and travel along rough, rocky terrain, sometimes running off and ending up in some ditch. We all have made our fill of mistakes and sometimes those held a costly consequence that changed life forever. So we lived through it, trying harder to make things right with family, friends and those around us, but what about those who aren’t able to make things right even if they tried…because they’re labeled as too dirty, a leper, a person who is rejected from society and home.

But what if they’re a seventeen year old and had sex with a fifteen year old, consensual at that? Or they’re a teen that had gotten so enraged after a breakup that he sent out naked pictures of his girlfriend on his cell phone or email? Or an individual urinates where someone just happens to see them?

All are wrong and a travesty but do they deserve the life of no second chance with a registry that ends all. They are labeled, no jobs, no where to live…they have been deemed a menace to society, a plague. These certain circumstances, and many other situations similar to these, I believe still deserve a second change.

Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution

Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

After my son’s early release and two years of prison, I thought I had handled that fact graciously knowing after serving his time he would be able to get that fresh start, that second chance. He was an exemplary inmate, GED, college courses and vocational classes. Little did I know that a second chance on the outside was the farthest from the truth? He now struggles and lives in a trailer park sharing a trailer with another and surrounded by others in the same rocking boat, one to float endlessly in shark infested waters. I see him little because of probation requirements (he couldn’t live with us because we were 800 feet near a school). My family is afraid of what would happen to them if he lived with them…vigilantism. My son has no other place to stay since others condemn him of his crime that is screamed from the highest rooftop. Sex offender, sex offender!

Not all sex offenders are pedophiles or predators but some are simply young kids that make one stupid and rash decision that eventually changes everything, and they have no idea what they’ve done until their life is never their own. Exactly, where is that second chance for those sex-offenders who are lumped together with pedophiles and predators? Now, it makes me sick to think of my son’s future and many like him that are on the registry and many with no second chance…ever. I am asking you as a mother and as another concerned citizen of the United States that these laws are looked at again and taken into serious consideration in what they are doing to the Constitution of the United States, not for sex offenders in general but the future rights of every citizen, before anymore are put into effect. They unjustly strip an offender of their rights and place them in a guillotine that can be easily set off by anyone and at anytime. Where is the second chance for ex-sex offenders in the present, pending and future laws?”
* * * *
What truly saddens me is the weakness and deterioration of what the sex offense issue is doing to our once, great nation. Across Europe, others are seeing the injustice and disregard of rights, but we ignore this problem and it makes me wonder where humanity is heading….

We have become a hysterical society in which our latest witch-hunt is a sex offender--no matter his/her crime.

Below is a email sent from a foreign advocate to a father of a sex offender:
* * * *
“The tragic story of your son's death is just so sad that it's difficult to explain how. It was very hard to read your letters. It seems almost unbelievable that this can take place in a democracy! From our point of view, there is no justice in this. Not in any way: not for you, your son, the former girl friend – or even the state.

It is an abusive legal system. It seems barbaric. And we are so very sorry that this takes place. That's why it's so important for us to try to neutralize the debate with this…, hopefully making some changes. ….. to show the every day life of the sex offenders, trying to show how they keep on being punished, even after served prison time…..But we will for sure tell the story of the injustice that your son has been exposed to.”
* * * *
I appreciate everyone's commitment and backing to protect everyone's civil rights, plainly as noted in the Constitution of the United States and is presupposed, giving ALL men are “life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.”